9:39 am | 26 June 2003 | Richard Ashcroft est totalement Fran�ais

Listening to the Verve this morning, i once again wonder whether Richard Ashcroft is secretly French.

Let me elucidate. Take "Bittersweet Symphony," for example (i am using something universally known so you non-Verve-fans can play along at home). Look at these lyrics:

I've never prayed but tonight I'm on my knees, yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

French is a beautiful language, but hard to sing--the trailing-off-ness of most of its words' end consonants ("fils" being one notable exception) makes it hard to sing melodically. So, instead, they tend to tack a little extry "oue" onto the end of each line, just to let it trail into the next (sort of like a more general/vague version of the aforementioned umlaut). Which brings me, finally, to my point (wait, do I have one? Oh yeah): RICHARD ASHCROFT IS TOTALLY FRENCH. It's not because of language constrictions, with him; it's more like a spiritual frenchness. He is 'cos he's scared of the one-beat pause that might otherwise divide his lines. And dude, when you see him talk in interviews, it totally makes sense. He rambles on with his molassesthick Northern warble. "Whin oo'm wrytin' lyracs, soomtiams uh just thank, 'ohh my my.' So that's what oo've got ter write. Whin uh sey 'ohh my my,' that's what uh mean. 'Ohh my my.'" Huh? clm.

Want to hear about the time I wore a "romper"? Yeah. You know you do.