12:49 pm | 02 December 2002 | weird crushes! babyfear! go dog go!

"Real Simple" magazine is categorized on Yahoo as "Home: Lifestyle Choices: Voluntary Simplicity."

i hope for Involuntary Simplicity, myself.

I have a mad, weird, freaky crush on Joseph Holtzman, Editor-in-Chief and Art Director of nest magazine, who is doing a lecture on Wednesday (for which I am skipping philosophy). Try explaining that one. �Yeah, he�s like forty, he wears a kilt, and he works at a quarterly magazine of atypical interior design. What�s not to love?�

It�s pretty great that Wendy just wrote an entry about her fear of �the babies� because I spent all weekend with my extended family, which includes quite a few knee-biters. Actually, the littlest one, who is only two months, was mega-cute in that only-semi-animate way babies have, like holding onto a gallon-sized Ziploc baggie full of warm pudding. Thankfully, though, I didn�t feel the urge or desire to possess one of them yet or any time soon. I felt fine bouncing the lumpkin, but it was kind of like admiring your friend�s new, you know, basketball hoop or whatever. It�s nice. I don�t need one.

I promise that I�m not going to become one of those people who just blathers on and on about how cute their fucking (baby, dog, cat, boyfriend, what have you) is, but Guinness was tremendously excited when I got home, and it was really gratifying�it�s just so wonderful and comforting to look at the look of pure love in an animal�s eyes (as she lay her head on my lap and gazed adoringly upwards) and to know that, unlike boys and drunkenness and those fleeting happy moments and fashion and concerts, the feeling of dog-love will never leave. I�m never gonna leave you. I�ll always come back for you.