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5:33 pm | 22 September 2003 | you needn't be Universal

...to be a Donor. Ahem.*

As some of you may be aware, your slightly-dauntable heroine is relocating at the end of November to gracious Long Beach Califor-nye-A, and is doing so with only the projected contents of her battered-yet-bold (Jesus, what is it, a McRib?) Chevrolet. As such--and due to the aforementioned raging packrattiness--I have an intense need to unload most of my belongings, and also to accrue cash.

Now, as I've mentioned before, many of the things I choose to collect (vintage price stickers! Traffic-flattened forks! Sequinned tops!) are ludicrous and not resellable, but neither do i want to throw them away, or donate them. No, friends, I want YOU to have them. I propose a compromise.

I find those blogs with the temerity to add Donate buttons pompous, insufferably greedy, and strangely American (in the negative sense), but I can stand behind good ol' yardsale tactics, so here:

The Mostly Rad Vodka Catatonic Once-in-a-Lifetime Manic Depressive Cross-Country MegaBlogsale 2003

How it works is this. Whether you like this page and want to support its impoverished authoress, or whether you just want some pointless toys for your home, click on my lame button (to your right; please note that i have chosen a festive, mid-party photo for it, so the whole thing seems more celebratory and less needy and awful) and give me an amount of money--any amount you choose. Send your address, too. Soon (i ship on weekends, since my weekdays are filled with the magical world of soul-crushing desk work) you will be the proud recipient of some valuable trinket chosen especially for you from my vast stores. Why waste your time scouring the Salvation Armies of the world for shiny baubles when you can buy them from me? And remember, every dime you Paypal to my ass goes to support LOVE: TRUE LOVE. And alcohol. For, uh, my lover. OH GOD PLEASE TAKE THIS CRAP FROM ME! clm.

* Apologies to Jeremy.


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