2:38 am | 29 November 2002 | plate Teutonics

Whoa, happy post-Thanksgiving, y'all. I hope that your bellies are comfortably distended. If not, let me know--my father, purveyor of weird gorcery-industry goods, cheerfully presented me with a bag containing approximately sixty packs (ten slices each) of shelf-stable Kraft Singles (imitation, called like American Bounty or something). Yes. Six hundred slices of cheese. If nobody wants them, i'm going to videotape myself handing them out to bums. "Feeding Chicago, one shelf-stable slice at a time." My philanthropy is unequaled.

I've been reading a lot of Heidegger lately ( especially the Origin of Art), but i have a real problem with his having been an active member of the Nazi party (it's akin to the problem i have with a lot of German philosophers/artists' slavish devotion to all things German, as well as certain American men's devotion to these philosophers. One such person, with the young man's typical arrogance, once remarked to me that women must not be able to think logically, since there were no prominent female philosophers. First? You're wrong about. Second? Uh, you're still wrong). Anyway, though i know a lot of people espouse a straight reading of theory without letting the philosopher's life intrude on the writing, i am unable to do so. It's like this:

1. I desperately, for intensely selfish reasons, want to believe in an afterlife (not necessarily a sentient one, or one like the Christian Heaven--just some sort of eternity).

2. If, after all my studies, i am forced to come to the conclusion that there is in fact not an afterlife, i must either

...a. change my philosophy accordingly, and admit my error or

...b. find (or create) a new mode of thinking that allows for an afterlife.

You see? In order for me to persist in my belief, my philosophy must support it. By remaining an unrepetant member of the Nazi party (he claimed in post-war trials that it was a purely political move, though other of his works during that time belie that claim), Heidegger's philosophy must have in one form or another allowed for an existence, a Weltanschaung, if you will, that made Nazism and its attendant ideas "okay," in the name of preserving and promoting the greatness of Germany. And that's not an ethic system i want any part of.

My generally spectacular philosophy prof, too, espouses a slavish adoration of all things German, which leads in a weird way to my losing some respect for him, although obviously i haven't had the chance to sit down and really iron it out. He is an absolute atheist, too, and doesn't believe in any sort of afterlife--in his (frequent) discussions of his father's somewhat recent death, he remarks again and again that his father no longer exists in any form, except for in his memory.

David: i hope that when you die, you awake to a world where your father and i stand, laughing. clm.

p.s. extra-special greetings & tenderness to my beautiful friend Fredrick for his lovely message & kindnesses...