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2:07 pm | 27 March 2003 | down with love

So, like, i am wondering how one goes about stopping liking someone.

We are going to put out an April Fools edition of My Imaginary Boyfriend which is dedicated to Boys I Once Liked That I Now Hate, and i am realizing that the ratio of "boys i have crushed on" to "boys who have totally dissed me" is extremely unfavorable (they were probably scared of my pendulous brain). In the past i cherished this unrequited bloodbath, since it fueled a lot of work (mostly crappy gothic poems and the like, with lines such as:

"You send your dark message into the cave of my heart/Never to return/O crows of sorrow, swoop into my hair!!!"

...and notes such as the one i left Damn Head Blueberry Arse, stating simply "You shit on my soul!" Sigh).

Some of the escapees of my net of dangerous love are still friends of mine (thankfully, as i got to know them over time, i was able to see that for various reasons* it would never have worked out, and so it's best to be friends and leave it at that).

Does this sound gauche or socially misguided or something? I am 24 and i am still Captain Fruitless Crush. But, seriously, if anyone has any tips and tricks for not liking someone any more, please let me in on it. My old ploy, drinking a shot of Cuervo every time my mind wanders to thoughts of him, is "effective" only if by "effective" you mean "keeping me drunk all day long." clm.


*A few: Mouth-Breather, Playboy Subscriber, Hates Books, Is Misogynist, Has Rock Star Syndrome, Has Peter Pan Syndrome, Has I'm-A-Sucky-Emotionally-Retarded-Fuckwit Syndrome.


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