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2:36 pm | 26 March 2003 | this is not

Hello, darlings.

I don't really have a cohesive theme today. I fell down a couple of minutes ago (full-on wiped in my office, then had to explain to the five people that rushed in that the rumble and clatter was just my knees and elbows being abruptly flung against the door, that Yes, i'm okay, and Yes, i fall down a lot, and Yes, i would like some chocolate, please, that would make me feel better). So anyway.

I made a violently genius painting this week--it's a cream-coloured stag with a dirty olive-green background (very flat, very pop). In a pink speech bubble, the stag is saying: This is not about love.

That may not sound too epic, and is certainly not what i usually paint, but it's making me sort of delirious with happiness (it hangs next to my bed now so i get to wake up to it).

I have a hard time waking up lately. It's supposed to snow again this weekend. I feel tired and cranky and bitter and passive-aggressive, but i am really trying not to complain. I lay in bed in the morning from 6:00 until 7:45 or so, trying to reconcile myself with my world, trying to convince myself to get up again and exist in reality instead of the dreams that are so much better. Traffic squeaks and drones by. The pillow is lumpy and malignant. Hi, sad deer painting! Good morning, dog licking its paw! The alarm clock squats like a nickel toad, burping gentle seconds of time. Bon matin, hideous and giant brass parrot lamp! O pile of matchless socks, staring at your irresponsible laundress so accusingly! You are my world, really. I guess I'll get up. This is not about love. clm.

p.s. I am now going to give a shout-out to Gate, who is feeling lonely. Gate, here is your googlist poem:

gate is open
is hosed
is broken.

gate is a 'godsend'
gate is easily installed
gate is olympic table tennis fan

gate is closed
gate is open 24 hrs
gate--is that it?

gate is a winner
gate is fine
gate is always open
gate is straight
gate is the best
gate is available for free trial right now!
gate is a japanese symbol for leaving the physical world and entering the spiritual world

gate is any gate that is still subject to penalties
gate is not an answer
gate is unique in that it only has one input
gate is not reversible
gate is heard mainly in your right ear

gate is exceptionally high
gate is an entrance
gate is a portal to the silk road


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