4:48 pm | 22 June 2004 | nonniversary

Well, my darlings, this is the 302nd entry in jes' 'bout 20 months of magnificent blogging by yours truly. As your gift to me*, please nevermind, bitches, the poll be closed!**. Because even though I wax pathetically self-focused*** at all times, I do love the hell out of y'all. Help a sister out. clm.

*If you have to ask why I deserve a gift, may I first remind you that I am just totally so pretty. If that don't do it for you, think about how not only do I not make any money off this bitch, but that I in fact probably lose money on it. Not only do I spend valuable time typing on the computer, which cuts down on the amount of time I can be out walking the streets for johns, but it gave me a nasty carpal tunnel. Only one. Right side only. MY CARPAL TUNNEL!

**Other gift ideas include: Cookies, waffles, a burro of my very own, shark repellent, Ritalin, and a feathered warbonnet.

***I wish people would take the time to make the distinction between "self-focused," which is what I am, and "selfish," which I am not. To put a finer point on it, I am generous to a fault but because it makes me feel good, which puts me in the former category, not the latter, as well as in the Club of Disavowed Catholics****. I also wish there were a word for "moody" that still meant "experiences a wide range of moods fairly often" rather than "Dude, what a bitch." As you were.

****The poll gives you to option to vote yea or nay on my chronic footnote habit. What are you waiting for? Judgement Day? It ain't comin'! Get over there, bitches!!!!