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9:56 am | 19 March 2003 | chapped from both sides

I've only been back at work for an hour and I am already being actively and prodigiously annoyed from both coasts. (Jack Skellington voice) Please, let me explain.

1. Someone I thought was cool has decided to start hating on the Midwest from his Lair Of Utter Hipness in NYC. Dude: That is sucky and I hate you now.

2. Someone else besides that that i already hated anyway is making me hate him way more, even, which is totally ludicrous, and I'm either going to marry my Swiss friend (he needs a green card anyway) and defect or i'm going to run away to northern Ontaria with Robin Smith, who also likes Jon Spencer and David Bowie, and I will pretend to be Qu�becoise and i will catch a lot of food, and shit. I knew my mad outdoor skills (*cough* winner of the 1992 West Michigan Junior Fishing championship, "Casting Accuracy" and "Overall Quantity" divisions) would come in handy. BECAUSE I'M FROM THE MIDWEST AND I LEARNED SURVIVAL SKILLS, FUCKERS! clm.


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