10:27 am | 17 July 2003 | Oh, that Karl!

I know you're all dying for updates on "Krazy" Karl Lagerfeld and so, for you, my dear readers, i keep my finger directly on the cocaine-addled pulse of the fashion world, to bring you this breaking news (parenthetical remarks my own). And I beg you: click all the links (they will open in separate windows). Taken as a whole, they form a carefully curated multimedia presentation that only enhance The Lagerfeld Experience. Enjoy. clm.

"During a fitting...(insaniac Chanel designer) Karl Lagerfeld (who has a flowing white ponytail and who, additionally, used to hide behind a series of elaborate and totally gayballs* FANS) told several editors who had dropped by his studio (as though anyone just "drops by" Karl Lagerfeld's studio. "Say, Bartholomew, on the way to Whole Foods d'you mind if we swing by Karl's pad? I haven't seen enough fans lately") that he had recently weighed the jewelry he had on � diamonds and chains by Chrome Hearts � and it had come to seven kilos, or about 15 pounds (which looks like this). He also mentioned that few of the established models were thin enough to wear his latest couture suits, which feature long drainpipe sleeves and narrow skirts gathered in folds above the knee, and that even (the emaciated and immensely popular despite being perpetually cross-eyed) Natalia Vodianova had to shed 10 pounds, presumably in baby fat."
�����          -New York Times, Wednesday, July 16, 2003

* For the sake of clarity, and so as to not offend anyone who may disagree with the popular appropriation of "gay" as a cognomen for "lame, stupid, disagreeable," i wish to note that "gayballs" is my term for "flagrantly, pretentiously affected in a manner which is not only unsuccessful but which is also really, really queen-y." Thanks for understanding.