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10:26 am | 02 October 2003 | urbane outfitters

"Just because something is vegan, doesn't mean it has to be healthy!" -Robin

I have been struggling to put things into words lately. One of the things i am struggling with, in particular, is the way i feel about trucker caps and souvenir t-shirts--in general, but particularly as sold in shops such as Urban Outfitters. Sure, when i was younger i scoured the Salvation Armies of Michigan for irony-laden gear (prime examples include my sister's find, a t-shirt bearing the phrase "do your duty vote for Judy," & also the much-coveted t-shirt my pop refused to share, with the words "Expose yourself to the Rockies" and a silkscreened graphic depicting a tourist in a trenchcoat, flashing said mountain range), but i'm mostly past this now. That doesn't mean, however, that i am down with the crass commercialization of it. If the purpose of a slogan t-shirt, or "funny" t-shirt, is to confer some sort of secondhand kudos on the wearer--"i had the good (or ironically bad) taste to choose this article," it is meant to say. This is a slightly more laudable pursuit if achieved through a thriftstore bounty hunt. But buying a "Virginia is for Lovers" shirt (in pre-approved nostalgic mustard and maroon) from a store is not really so "indie," folks*. In fact, it's dumb. I am trying to be clear, here: i guess what i mean is that there's nothing wrong with mass-produced merchandise, unless you are hoping/purporting/demanding to be hailed as "clever" and "stylish" by such an item which is, by its very nature, only valuable when obscure.

And trucker caps? That's a whole 'nother ball of wax that I will address soon. Until then, stay in school and quit with the D.A.R.E. shirts already. That shit's tired. clm.

*It might actually be emo, but only because it is pathetic, and pathos is the currency of emotional hardcore.

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