12:37 pm | 02 May 2003 | "Without Even Dating Them!"

Okay so don't ask how i came across it, but here i find myself staring at an Amazon.com listing for a book entitled "Make Every Girl Want You: How to Have Sex with Hot Girls (Without Even Dating Them!)" I would like to present snippets of this page (not even the book, mind you, because i have better things to spend $11.96 on) as a sort of anthropological study. Let's take a look, shall we? Come on.

First: the title. Make Every Girl Want You: How to Have Sex with Hot Girls (Without Even Dating Them!) Let's first note that we are attracting hot girls here, and not scary, scary women (let's hope they're at least of legal age), and please note the encouraging little exclamation mark clinging to the end--you might have thought that in order to Have Sex with Hot Girls you'd have to date them. No! You don't! Not Even!

And let's not forget the cover:

Wow, that is some woman, i mean, girl! Look at her slipping off her thong over her cheap sandals! Why, maybe she'll leave them on during the Hot Sex which you, the consumer and audience, are no-doubt just about to administer! Racy!! (On further investigation, this is the exact same cover that Fate/Reil used for their other book, entitled Make Every Girl Want You: Everything from Picking-Up [sic] Girls to Having a Successful Relationship, which smacks dangerously of low-rent self-publication and a really crap graphic designer.

Next on our tour: Customers who bought this book also bought
How to Succeed With Women by Ron Louis, David Copeland (Paperback)
The Guide to Picking Up Girls by Gabe Fischbarg (Paperback)
Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman by Bob Lott (Paperback)
The Rules for Getting Laid (The Rules for Life Series) by David Graff, et al (Paperback)

Why on earth are none of these titles available in hardcover? It's a mystery for the ages. Oh, look up ahead, it's Our Customers' Advice: See what customers recommend in addition to, or instead of, the product on this page:
2 people recommended How to Attract Asian Women in addition to Make Every Girl Want You: How to Have Sex with Hot Girls (Without Even Dating Them!)

Oh, I see! Two of our friends realized the immeasurable cross-educational value of these two tomes and are sharing their wisdom with us! Why, thank you! I can only express the most delicate confusion as to why the recommended book is not called How to Attract Asian Girls, since that's probably more accurate...but maybe that would have sounded offensive.

The authors, Steve Reil and the ponderously-monikered John Fate, "have served as experts on The Ricki Lake Show" and apparently began as "2 average guys who were pathetic with women until they set out on a mission to better understand women, share [sic] with you everything they learned on their journey. They became friends with numerous girls, and now understand everything." Oh my god! Wow! Maybe i was wrong! Maybe they really do understand me! Okay, let's read some reviews to see what people thought:

Reviewer: Ronald Courstef from Long Island, NY
The "message" I got from the book's title, cover, and general marketing presentation led me to assume that the book was almost certainly yet another handbook touting hairbrained [sic] schemes to deceive unsuspecting female victims...I was expecting LOW CLASS tactics intended for use by LOW CLASS men. The book, of course, contains the exact opposite: Strategies for using respect and compassion [!] to advance your success with women. This book has done an excellent job of tying together a bunch of what used to be disjoint [sic] concepts for me, unifying them into a concise strategy for my social life.

Reviewer: A reader from Boston, MA
I'm an average guy who don't [sic] have any problem getting some but I just bought this book out of curiosity as the title was so catchy. The book is written in a chatty way and is easy to read. And when you think about it this stuff seems so simple but it makes sense. One thing I like about this book is that by practicing it you actually become a [sic] more considerate, and thus a better person, so unlike some other books about seducing out there that kinda mess with your mind and, [sic] sometimes plain evil. So it's a good deal--being nicer and more sincere, and getting more laid [sic!!!]. Well I kinda like the deal so far.