9:54 am | 02 January 2003 | "What's a nice Ranger like you doing in an Uruk-Hai-infested forest like this?"

Okay, dudes. I'm totally going to get a GameCube. I played Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers over break on the Tape Wizard and Nightmonkey's PS2, and it sold me. Wow, it's great! There's a lot of realistic violence and actual scenes from the movie, plus great voiceovers (like Captain Obvious going "These woods are old...very old" or annoying, wimpy Frodo yelling "Aragorn! Help!" Lame-o.

Also? The Ents are fucking sweet. I was making the rock devil-horns so hard during that part of the movie that my pinkies and forefingers cramped.

My dark-green car, formerly a somewhat dignified (if not exactly stylin') Chevrolet, now has a bright-red hood, courtesy of my inability to stop in Lincoln Park a few weeks ago, and my attendant poverty. My parents refer to it as 'the Christmas Car' in a feeble attempt to console me. I may apply a contact-paper skull-and-crossbones to the hood, since it already looks ludicrous.

Other vacation tidbits:

> I wrestled with Nightmonkey, who then fell, pinning my calf to the ground with his bony, lanky kneecap, giving me a fist-sized bruise that is still raging more than a week later;

> I went to The Bang! again, where i totally drunkenly kidssed a boy who, i later learned, is EIGHTEEN (gulp) [p.s. i look really, really wretched and chin-y in that picture] [in addition, in the first one, i am singing backup to 'Shout!' with Jeremy on mic--this is right before i totally fell off the stage];

>also, Madre de Mios sent all these rum-and-bourbon balls with me for my friends, which ruled all ass, especially since they were made with Captain Morgan's and Old Crow! Let's get ready to rummmm balllll!;

> I sprained my right foot on New Year's, which is especially great since i am supposed to be moving house this weekend;

> Nero did NOT reply to my email, unless i sent it to the wrong address, which i don't think i did, so he sucks, and i want the Tape Wizard to, as she says, "piss in his eye until he goes blind";

> I got reeeally depressed on New Year's Eve, so i spent a few hours on my bed, chain-smoking and hitting off a saved-for-a-special-occasion bottle of Laphroaig 10-Yr (thanks, Danny Squid!) and listening to the Smiths and the Cure. Then i attached two giant pieces of feather boa to my buns and went dancing! Woo!

I'm sure there's more that i'll get to later. On Christmas morning we were listening to Bing Crosby, like always, and the line from 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen' that mentions Jesus' being born [sings creamily] "to save us all from Satan's power when we were gone astray" really, really freaked me out this year. clm.

p.s. if anyone needs some stationery, i've got a pile of last year's "clm:02" left over.

p.p.s. i've decided to let you-all be the judge(s): what should my New Year's Resolutions be?