12:36 pm | 28 May 2004 | a snoop-pourri

Today i am sad, because i just heard about the Saatchi warehouse fire that destroyed more than 100 YBA works (young british artists, from roughly 1991-present) from the "Sensation" exhibit (you might remember it, it was the one in New York that started the censorship frenzy, largely focusing on Serrano's "Piss Christ" and the Chris Ofili paintings with the elephant dung--a real NEA-vs.-religious-faction heavyweight brawl). Anyway, the works destroyed included Jake & Dinos Chapman's "Hell," a giant tableau of modelled Nazi soldiers in Goya-ezque torturing-each-other-in-horrific-yet-decontextualized ways, which took them two years to build, and well, that really sucks. It's probably my favourite art period after the early 1900s and (DORK ALERT) this stuff had actually taken on a heavy symbolic (iconic?) meaning for me. So sucks. I know some of Tracy Emin's stuff was in there, and i hope it wasn't EVERYONE I HAVE EVER SLEPT WITH, this quilted pup tent that was AMAZING. Also: apparently there's a lot of folk who are saying it's GOOD that they were destroyed, as though a fire were tantamount to ridding the world of an ogre or something (Zelda?), and that's even sadder scarier. Probably more about this another day, but not now.

BECAUSE NOW, via the magic of AskSnoop.com (and a holla to YMAW for the heads up), which translates your website into Snoop-ese, below is a funny excerpt from tha Doggfather-interpreted Vodka Catatonic. BUT FIRST!:

In other Snoop-related news, there's a brief profile of him in i think it's Elle Magazine this month, wherein the interviewer goes "You've been married to your wife for seven years. Do you have any tips on maintaining a healthy relationship?" To which Snoop replies, "Do i look like motherfucking Dr. Phil? I ain't got no damn advice." Hott! Then i saw that he's now getting divorced. CONNECTION? Es posible. Anyway here's an extract from the last entry:

"But don't yo' ass understand how unhireable that makes yo' ass, 'n why? How can I, John Johnson? How can I hire yo' ass 'n take yo' ass off da ARC? GODDAMMIT, JOHN JOHNSON, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA HELP THA RETARDS! clm, know what I'm sayin'?"

Also running UD's site through it gave up: "this Claudia brizzle wuz like 'yo' ass are a brizzle, know what I'm sayin'?'"

Dudes: yo ass are all mad gravy brizzles, holla!! clm.

p.s. Snoop is still totally weaker than a shark, for serious.