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5:49 pm | 22 May 2003 | comma comma comma comma comma chameleonnnn

May i just, very quickly, make another note of common punctuation mangling that could easily be avoided? I thought so. Here.

COMMAS AND TITLES CAN LIVE TOGETHER HAPPILY

Hi! Have you ever noticed that sometimes people have difficulty reconciling names and titles in a sensible fashion? Have you observed wily, misplaced commas twining around pronouns willy-nilly, forcing me to spear my eyeballs on the twisted ends of wire hangers and then pluck them right out of my skull, nerves dangling? Let me give some examples.

CORRECT: "Grammar Princess Claudia was looking particularly charming this morning."

CORRECT: "Miss Claudia, the reigning Grammar Princess, was looking particularly charming this morning."

INCORRECT: "Grammar Princess, Claudia, was looking particularly charming this morning."

See? In the incorrect case, the audience could be confused into believing that they were being addressed as Princess, or that two people were being spoken to: the Princess and Claudia. EVERYONE KNOWS that I am the princess, and I alone.

I know it's kind of tricky. Please, please, if you have questions, just email me before you send more badness into the world. Phlett. clm.


Oh! Oh! Oh! One more handy device: when inserting a quoted phrase into a sentence, it doesn't ALWAYS get preceded with a comma.

CORRECT: She looked up at him coyly and said, "Well, Graham, aren't WE a fine pair?"

CORRECT: He told me he'd rather "eat fistfuls of mice" than go out with that woman.

CORRECT: I have perfect pitch, even if singing "Theme from Titanic."*

INCORRECT: She is in the film, "Anna Karenina."

How do I know which one to use? Well, I know because i am a genius. But you all can tell when to use or omit the comma by writing the sentence out without any quote marks. For example:

She is a big fan of, The Twilight Singers or She is a big fan of The Twilight Singers? Why, the comma looks stupid, doesn't it? So you know it's going to be She is a big fan of "The Twilight Singers" in the end.

*Not bloody likely that i'd actually sing that.


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