6:15 pm | 01 October 2004 | wheelchair halfpipes

Sorry I'm all frazzleass lately, folks. I feel kind of like I'm running around with a, like, um, a totebag full of hornets, only the totebag is fashioned out of Kleenex and snot, and I have them all at arm's length and I'm one of those people who are like REALLY REALLY afraid of bees/stinging insects, like irrationally, you know: when you are at an outdoor caf� and suddenly your lunching companion does like the mid-90s Pepsi gooseneck wave with his/her head/neck and then leaps from the plastic/metal chair with a holler/squeal and darts across the parking lot/dances in place like a monkey puppet, all the while moaning/shrieking "Oh my God, a bee/hornet/wasp/buggie!" Like that. And that person, needless to say, is not likely to be making coherent-type writings, at that moment of squalling.

But a couple little things. First off, to your left, in the navigation column, is a little "most recent pic" thing that has whatever picture I just took with my phone. I must warn you now that, depending upon when you visit the site, the pic you get might not be the most...appropriate. But whatever, tough luck. Second, the little embryonic-fetusy version of Loupe is up. What's that? It's a journal I started with Phil to promote the essay as writing form, because I am getting a little sick of the "McSweeney's-fey, deliberately over-cleverly obtuse little creative nonfiction fragment" that is the only popular writing afoot these days, and also: I like learning and academia, despite my apparent upper-ed intolerance. So I invite you to visit Loupe, but more importantly to SUBMIT to Loupe, because it will be really, really awesome. Like, so totally awesome. Many of you write or IM me and end up all "I wish I had a blog or website, but I...oh, I don't know, I want to have a lot of material saved up, I'm not sure, I'm not ready blah blah pansypants" and I say to you: Get on the goddamned horse, Carruthers.* Maybe essays are not your thing? Well, I always look at good stories for when I want to "fill the gap," as it were, of vacations &c., so if you have a hilarious tale, you should just send it over. Step up to the plate, also. Write some shit goddamn it. Look how pathetic and terrible my first entry is!

That's another fun thing: Reading people's first entries, seeing how their style has evolved (or devolved, in my case), etc. In fact, this interesting topic will soon be broached in the ring over at UdvCLM, so keep your little eyeballs peeled, if you care. So, this entry, in order:

1. Sorry I'm a spaz. 2. Looky, picture. 3. Read essays. 4. Write a goddamned essay. 5. Write something, period. 6. I am dumb.

In final news, I've been sort of fine-tuning the links list to your left, and though I have removed a lot of names, those people can be found by going to my LJ and clicking "My Ninjas for Shizzy." Also, some folks I've read for a long time have been added to the profile list. So there you go, hosers. Did I mention I've been stencilling and acetone-transferring all week? I think I killed my brain cell! clm.

*I like making up statements that sound like movie quotes, but that aren't.

Also IT IS MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY, what the hell. You better say something nice to that lady in comments, for lo, she bore myself, the Tape Wizard, and even Nightmonkey. HAPPY GODDAMN BIRTHDAY MOM!!