10:14 am | 14 October 2003 | dental damn. Oh, get it? CLEVER!!

As The Great Move (cue Pet Shop Boys, "Go West") looms, I have amped up the Shedding of Unnecessary Objects and now, for example, have only a handful of movies in my possession. Which sucks in situations like yesterday's.

This weekend, while attempting the incredible feat of drinking a glass of water, I chipped a tooth. This was distressing on several levels, but mostly because while I already have weird, squarish teeth (marred further by our city's aggressive fluoriding-of-water and tetracycline), I don't worry about them too much. However, the Chipping of the Tooth nearly crippled me socially. Faced with the Mrs. America pageant, and even fortified with Jim Beam, I was afraid to laugh in case I were to jab somebody's face with my Korovievesque sabre-tooth.

But, so, long story short, I went to the damn dentist yesterday, got the tooth fixed, and then let Dr. Richter (whose reassurances that "this shouldn't hurt too bad" were less-than-comforting, particularly as I was the one cranked back in the chair with 15 metal and plastic implements dangling from my maw) screw around with some old filling I had that was apparently not stable, or something. Whatever. All I know is that I had THREE anaesthetic injections and my face, already of a natural Stay-Puftiness, swelled up to Eric-Stoltz-in-Mask proportions. I got out of the dentist's office, attempted to smoke a soothing cigarette without drooling (failed), and went home.

...where I would have liked to watch a movie, but I sold the damn things, so I settled for volume two of "The Cure: The Complete Videos" and whimpered on the couch. Just like always! clm.

p.s. Keep an eye out for a discussion of various pros and cons of some of my favourite Cure videos. Until then, please rent "Morrissey: Hulmerist" and check out the inexplicable presence of chocolate in "November Spawned a Monster," and also the hi-larious "VILE"-emblazoned straw hat that several of my friends need to start wearing SOON.