10:49 am | 14 May 2003 | sick sick sick

(Diaryland-specific scream of rage): I HATE YOU SQUIRREL X!! AGGH!! I hate your banners, all up in my shit all the time! ffffuuuuck.

Okay. I am better now. Thank you.

I was out "sick" yesterday. My boss gave me a concerned, maternal glare when i staggered in late this morning. "I'm not going to give you The Talk," she said, "but you need to go to the doctor. You've been sick for too long. Every week you look like hell." I wanted to ask her to recommend the doctor that can prescribe some shit to kill my particular strain of improbable longing, or at least some ointment for the scratches on my back. I hate having feelings. clm.

I revised this last week, and I think it works better now. Opinions?

Your pretty lips were glued to the Blarney stone
and I was passed out in the Palace of Winds
But then the medical helicopters tumbled past like dragonflies
drunk on small prey, and we met on the pier.

I had violence sewn into my petticoats like a Contessa
fleeing the Revolution. I jangled my ass up to you
and started Rorschaching you over and over,
hasty to occupy your recently demilitarized heart.

When you surrendered, your flag was a treacherous white:
infinite blank. I love an enigma in uniform.

I jumped up drunk on a piling, scattering the seagulls, and declaimed
"If your heart�s a locked car then baby, I am nothing but a slimjim!"
�and then, of course, I fell. And my broken-compassed eyes slammed shut
like a screen door at the world�s last sunset.

But when I washed drippingly ashore that night
you were laughing under the copper-coloured sodium lights,
waiting to pick the seaweed out of my mouth.
My symbols have been right all along.

And now we are riding the greenest electrical edge
of a storm-struck sky. Something is coming--
Under the waves great shapes are shifting swollenly about.

And you�ll stand there and shake your head, giggling, as I try
to keep the whole ocean back with my arms, shouting "I am a genius!"
Well, no. But you already know what I mean.
You�ll just smile, and start battening down all sorts of hatches