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11:01 am | 03 March 2003 | "can we have a pillow fight"

We were playing a game called "Chug-A-Lug."

We were playing a game that Gate's dad gave him, a game which was apparently meant to "test your drinking skill as well as your ability to cope with unusual and hilarious situations"--both things that I excel at. I figured this game was in the bag. Well, it was. So was my face.

Prior to beginning the game, the terms "drink," "chug," and "swig" should be defined and mutually agreed upon by all participating players. Players should be consistent in drinking what has been set as an established measure.

So we each drank eight beers. Then we got some Jim Beam.

When a player lands on the DRUNK TANK or GO TO DRUNK TANK space, draws a Chug-A-Lug card that instructs him to GO TO DRUNK TANK, or is instructed to go to the DRUNK TANK by POLICE RAID, GO TO DRUNK TANK he must go directly to the DRUNK TANK and does not pass ALCOHOLICS UNANIMOUS ASSOCIATION and does not collect an Alcoholics Unanimous card. The player must remain in the DRUNK TANK until he rolls a 4 or less with the dice in 3 turns. If the player is unable to roll a 4 or less he must take as many drinks as are indicated on the dice on his third roll. The player then may move out of the DRUNK TANK on his next turn. However, if the player holds a GET OUT OF DRUNK TANK FREE Chug-A-Lug card, he may return that card to the bottom of the Chug-A-Lug deck and continue to play the game without observing the above mentioned penalties.

Whatever, that's waaaaayyyy too much stuff to remember. We stayed in Drunk Tank until, by dint of persuasive argument, backrubs, or excessive swearing, we got out. Just like in real life.

Chug-A-Lug cards instruct the player(s) to perform various actions (i.e., Tell your favorite party joke.) There are no rules restricting the negotiation process - this is entirely up to the players involved. (Negotiation process example: Trade a Get Out of Drunk Tank Free for a Jet to the John card.)

Did i mention that this game penalizes unauthorized (without landing on the right space) bathroom visits, smoking, and drinking? Did i mention this is a stupid and almost unfollowable rule? Koo and I had to switch clothes (note: she is 5'4" and Korean. I am a big giant honky. It practically took a shoehorn and a quart of olive oil to get her pants on; meanwhile, she cuffed my jeans six inches. This will explain why in some pictures we are wearing opposite clothes. Anyway).

To win the game, a player must collect 10 Alcoholics Unanimous cards. However, to shorten the total game time, the number of Alcoholics Unanimous cards necessary to win may be lessened in accordance with the desires of the group playing.

The 'desires' of the group were to finish off all the alcohol in the house, and then have a pillow fight. We have a lot of those: Someone playfully bats someone else and then all hell breaks loose. Cushions, Post-Its, beer cans, paper towels, my entire body--nothing is sacred. All is thrown. In one genius manoeuvre, SBF and i grabbed the entire futon and, in a wave of godlike fury, took everyone down.

Koo has this weird competitive spirit (read: when we are drunk she likes to hurt me) and will pretend to play nice ("Oh, baby, i was just kidding. Come here!") shortly before clobbering yours truly, the pacifist of the group, directly in the face. My "come on, guys, i'm not gonna fight!" tactic has also garnered me the following:

1) Being fully doused by the sink's spray attachment (I walked home after that one--two miles--and when i got to my apartment my jeans were frozen solid)
2) Being fully crushed beneath the futon while T., Gate, SBF, and Koo piled on top--at which point i cracked a rib--at which point (after a few moments of whimpering) I was pulled from beneath the pile and, in a fit of really egregious drunkenness, decided to just "walk it off" and not seek medical attention
3) Multiple and raging scratches, bruises, and sprains, and one puncture wound
4) Laughing so hard my face still hurts.

I present below several great moments from one pillowfight. There'll be another this weekend--SBF won a drawing at this awful bar* which got him--wait for it--UNLIMITED FREE DRINKS FOR ONE HOUR FOR AN UNLIMITED NUMBER OF FRIENDS. UNLIMITED, people. The shit is gonna go down. clm.

* It's classified as a "4:00am Fraternity Feel Social Sports Bar." Ew.



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