7:20 pm | 05 November 2003 | -

I am on vacation in Normal, Illinois, so my sister is posting this for me. See you Friday! clm.

"Andrew Abbott interviewed Ann Magnuson yesterday. As part of my research I had to compile a list of amusing personal ads. I enclose some of my faves...

luv,
Danny"

I'm a scuba diver. i'm half french and half dutch. i love traveling. I also love laughing at myself and other people.

NORTH SHORE LADY
Attractive, tall widow looking for a gentleman, 65-plus, to enjoy all the wonderful things life has to offer. Non-smoking golfer would be a plus. Let's talk. BOX 18290

This is for anyone who likes to get nasty while watching Battlestar Galactica at the same time. What? It's possible.

I'm a girl who is looking for a sensual relationship with a real vampire, one who will bring me across. I'm waiting.

NYC WOMAN, 60s (bad!), looks 59 (good!), feels 8, 17, or 125 (questionable!), seeks amusing man for occasional long lunches, long talks, maybe more. Skeptics welcome. I like Waugh, Austen, Churchill, the Jungle Books, Rodgers & Hart, thunderstorms, marshmallow pumpkins, Ingres. Physically I resemble a surprising sister-in-law, not necessarily yours.

LONELY -- I have several disabilites but active I love to go camping caravanning I have my own caravan live alone and am very lonely I have heart poblems but my main one is excema from my knee's down which is very unsightly I am a loving caring peron and woul like the company of a male

HAIRCUTS Handsome WM turned on by giving you buzzcuts, fades, flattops, military haircuts, head shaves, etc. If you like the sound and feel of clippers, lets connect (NYP, VARIATIONS)

TICKLISH? I am an Italian man with a big build. I live in Brooklyn and I'm 34 years old. I like to tickle and play around with guys. Call me. (NYP, VARIATIONS)

The Opportunity Of A Lifetime-For the right woman. Outdoors celebrity, world-recognized big-game hunter, blue-water fishing, author, seeks relationship towards marriage. Travels worldwide. Occupation: buying and selling corporate aircraft. 50 years old, 5'9", and 193 lbs, in-shape. 12-year-old son. Live in Southampton, NY on three acres. A woman who is in-shape, athletic, adventurous, and love of nature is mandatory. Do not respond if you are an imposter. Seeking a relationship with 30-40 year-old woman who loves to hunt and fish. If mud, wet smelly gun dogs, early to bed and early to rise, are not you, then don't respond. Recent photo a must.

hello I will start by saying a few words trying to describe me then I will tell you my hobbies and dislikes I am 54yrs above average build, Solar panel for a hairstyle I like music all types, reading, fiction mostly, nonsmoker, social drinker, telling the truth, we all stretch the truth slightly just that I strongly dislike a proven liar,I can cook if I have a recipe to follow, no pets now did have an English springer spaniel but he died a few years ago (illness ) What I am looking for in a woman is some one who is willing to share lifes up and downs with me just s normal everday person like myself definately no einsteins.

This is a bet.......after a good night out. The bet is that there is not a man who can match me. If you LOVE Shakespeare...LOVE bikes....can deal with a feminine woman who is in control of her life and is happy with her own company...please email me.....YOU ARE MINE!

Big Hot Playmate
Wanted by erotic couple in late 40's. She's large, he's in charge.

Adult Baby Boy SWM 27 slim/attr bn hair/eyes 5'9, 180 seeks sexy SWF 18-30 who is fit to fulfil my fantasy, to diaper me, spank me, pamper me on the changing table.

*Marraige Minded* *
My name is Peter. I'm a SWM 40s (looks 30s) 6' 180# good shape with brown eyes and hair. People say I'm very handsome. I'm a kind, honest, open-hearted, adventuous, conscious, playful and loving man and I appreciate those qualities in a woman. I sold my company before the dot-com crash and now I'm retired and living in paradise....Big Sur, California to be exact. My home is by a creek and overlooks a forest. To the west, I see the vast pacific ocean. It's so breathtakingly beautiful here...romantic too. That said, I am willing to travel anywhere to meet and to travel back and forth between our respective homes. I'm okay with a long-distance relationship....for a while. I trust that we will know if we're right for each other before too long. I love to travel and experience new places and things. At the same time, there's nothing I'd rather do then enjoy a candlelight dinner at home and cuddle by a roaring fireplace. My dream is to find a woman who shares my values and is blessed wwith a luxurious amount of body hair (arms especially) and who has the grace to let herself be as god made her. Please be willing (and hopefully eager) to be cherished and adored. Your age, race or size is unimportant to me.